Kathy,

It's easy to look at the things we missed out on and feel like they would make our life more complete.

But if we had chosen, in the past, to pursue those things instead, it would have required giving up a lot of things that feel so familiar to us now that we can't even imagine life without them.

I passed up on relaitonships and family to pursue a PhD and (recently) world travel. The thought that I may have passed up on my chance to ever be a dad occasionally drives me to the edge of tears. But also, I know my soul well enough to know that if I'd chosen to be a dad early on, dreams of travel and professional advancement would have haunted me.

Maybe it's just a human trait, to dream about the path we chose not to walk.

There's a different way to look at it though and it has been helpful to me. If you feel that ache inside, it may be that your soul isn't lamenting what you could have had in the past. It may be that it's telling you about what you should consider pursuing now.

I can't even begin to speculate on the logistics of how to do that when you have a family to care for., and I'm not arrogant enough to try. But the pain might be your heart's way of telling you to start knocking on the doors you thought were closed to see if any of them open up.

Here's hoping that a few of them do.

J